i just made my gag reflex go away.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
