but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
