come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
