Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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