did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
