Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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