i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
