I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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