I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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