i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
