Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
