Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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