ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
