please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Randomize
