his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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