we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
