i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize