Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
