I wish I only lived at night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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