You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
