I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
