I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize