I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
