Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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