I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
