I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She swung at the pinata with crutches
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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