I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think i have two assholes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
