We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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