Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
