nut hugger
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's like iHOP with fire
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize