Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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