nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
