Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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