I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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