There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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