one might say we're banned from that church
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
