He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
