i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
