i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't deserve a penis
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
