wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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