I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
