Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
