i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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