Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
