Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
