nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
