We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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