ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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