Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
