dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Randomize
