He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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