Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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