splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
