i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
