So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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