What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I fill condoms, not promises.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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