I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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