she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
