my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
