I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
