He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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