It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
