i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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