I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my liver is dry heaving
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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